Wednesday, June 29, 2011

If You've Got Nothing Worth Saying Then....



Keep your mouth shut.  ....... Yes I know the saying, and no I am not going to follow my own advice, that would be toooo sensible but I will give a pre- warning, this aint going to be one of my best blogs.  My f.f.f.f.f.unk continues, my disolusionment malise draws on, all I know is if what goes up must come down, then what goes down must lift eventually, and soon maybe?  Picked up my new Jeep yesterday, HOT! I have been fanging about Sydney, loving it, and as Kimmy would say, "I'm loving myself sick in this"  But I am going to tell you something that reveals more about who I really am than anything else I can pin point.  It goes a little something like this.  A new car, is great and nice and layed a good foundation for a feeling and a belief that things agoing to get better.  I didn't exactly work hard to get a new car, it was kind of a gift, but I certainly did go to hell and back to get it and deserve it.  But I think it is trauma, that has me thinking "what will go wrong next? will I drink drive and write it off and void my insurance? will I kill someone? will it break down and cost me money?"  So many bad things have happened in the last 4 years, and my 20's in general, that it feels very unsafe to believe in a better life.  But that isn't what my point is, my true self is this.  Today I had one of those magical days, lunch at Balmoral Bathers by the sea. 


I then got to go shopping at Ikea, one of my favorite past times, but I was being paid $80 an hour to do it, and spending other peoples money to do their kitchen! doesn't much better than that.  I then raced into DFO and bought a pair of work jeans, Polo jeans on sale for $45, HOT!  Buying designer clothes to ware as work ware, makes me so happy, it is like my favorite thing ever.  I get very dirty, digging ditches, painting, silicon, cement render, so every one normally wares ugly cheap clothes, but my hot straight rich builder friends opened my eyes to the fun of wareing designer clothes to the job site.  No matter how hot you are King Gee will always make you look like a pleb.  Ware Guess T Shirts, or Amarni Exchange and G Star or Amarni Jeans, get a little bit of paint on them or silicon, and you will suddenly see how good it looks.  If you have never seen a hot tradie in designer threads it is truely jaw dropping, its something to do with the mix between nice fun boy clothes being worn to get the job done on sex men, that tripples their sex appeal.  I see a few of these hot tradies about in Canberra and Sydney, they look like they have just come back from a holiday on Mykinos, sucked a few cocks while they were high on E's, have girl friends back at home, and have that hard tough edge thats lots of working class guys have.



Picture Vin Diesel 2

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Hot First Australians





I would love a hot Aboriginal boyfriend, so 2011, I wouldn't really mind what he did for a living, cop, builder, machenic, lawyer, actor, dancer, teacher, whatever, but there are 83 first grade aboriginal players in the AFL, 11% compared to 2% of general Australian population and there hasn't been an AFL player come out yet, so maybe I could be the first male WAG to an AFL player, and if the first was an aboriginal, then it would be a double wammy for equality, that really would be so 2011.  Would I be a HAB though, Husband And Boyfriends?



No news to report, still in my funk, no sex, no sex drive, the shops shut for matience, the hole has scabbed over from lack of use, Charlotte is building her web down there practicing her spelling.

Did buy a new Jeep, didn't like the Merc in the end, ugly interior.

Friday, June 17, 2011

We're Going Down Down Down to Loser Town



I'm just back from seeing Jennifer Coolidge, she is so good live, I love her, so smutty, and dirty, I love it.  There was a smattering of A gays there, including Will Fennell, he is so nice, as a person I mean, well he looks nice I don't really know if he is.



Last night I saw Bridesmaids and it was totally great.  The main character is total loser, but like able and a nice person and as I was watching it I kept identifying with her, well her bad luck anyway, I was thinking they are making a movie about me! 


To top it off, I watched Brideswars and 27 Dresses and how many more rom - coms am I going to watch this weekend? and they seem to have a wedding theme? whats that about?  I don't want to write about it but I am still in my funk, not horny, addicted to Grindr, not because I want to talk to people or want sex, just because I'm addicted to distraction.  People hit me up for dates and sex and I bail all the time.  No saunas, no bars, no Grindr hook ups, this blog might be on the way out if my moejoe does return soon.  I guess it won't hurt to be a Nanna for a while, I could even do my washing or clean my apartment, or apply myself to my business.... who am I kidding, I'll never be that person, I've tried and failed, let the philandering continue.... oh my phone just buzzed the hot guy I messaged from Grindr just got back to me, got to go.....pathetic much?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Nothing, No One & No Point

Paris and New Guy Alex Vaggo, Swedish Tourist, Pictures, Photos

I felt like writing the last few nights, but each time I couldn’t.  I had no point, sure my life has been cruising along, I’m about to tell you about it, but there was no point to it, I cannot see a point to finish on.   Well tonight I am ok with that, no point is the point for tonight.
The one funny story I have is from the long weekend….. Friday night I had someone from the building I look onto over from Grindr, he was nice and 6’3 Turkish guy.  Smart and kind and we played around after 5 hours of chatting in front of the TV.  He turned out to be really into rough sex, which in my mind is hot and a total turn on, but in reality was shit.  He hurt me a lot, and bit me so hard I he broke the skin in my groin for 2 days.  He was a strong guy and liked pissing me off, but wanted to be the bottom; Lesson learnt, I can’t be a top for a bossy bottom, either let me do my work and shut up or you be the top, it’s called passive for a reason, you can’t keep giving me orders and expect my dick to still be up for it, it’s a real downer, literally.  He wanted my cum and said “where ever you want to put it” so I felt like face painting, and said “Shut your mouth I’m going to shoot all across you face”  Well he didn’t shut his eyes and bang bang he was blind in one eye.  So I think we are even, he drew blood and I blinded him, 1 all draw.
Saturday night I went to a party called club Arak, for gay middle eastern guys, it was ok, the music was shit, and I was surrounded by 3 of my top 4 Grindr disaster stories.
No. 1 wasn’t there, but I’ll tell you now, he is one of the guest hosts off the 7pm project, I didn’t like him, and blocked him 6 times, but he found me every time I reload Grindr.  Last time I reloaded, I had figured out he was off TV and felt like being a star fucker, as I haven’t had sex with anyone off TV for years, so I agreed to come over, he asked me to buy beer for his flatmate on my way over and he would give me money when I got there.  Well he didn’t, he sent me a text as I was waiting at his front door saying “This isn’t going to work mate”  I was so mad at his rudeness, I am going to put dog shit through his letter box when I get a chance.
No.2  was the Potts Point Power Poof, who I managed to fake pleasantries to as he turned out to be friends with someone who has a crush on me, so I thought I had better be polite.
No.3  was a 26 year old English plumber who is working out here and asked for my photos on Grindr, and after sending them through, he said, “Your fat”, wow did he learn those manners growing up in council housing?
I can’t remember number 4, but he was hanging around somewhere, they were all outside smoking, that was one fucked up smoking group.
A 24 year old campy Egyptian guy, came up and kissed me, and he was a good kisser, and next thing I know I was off to Arq with him and a sober friend who was driving, god bless muslims, always the reliable DD.  He had his hand down my pants at the bar, and Arq was very straight that night, and he said “you have huge balls, I love huge balls” “yeah I know, so do I” I said, he then dragged me into a cubical and started sucking me off, he then flipped a condom onto my dick and sat me down on the loo and rode my cock.  I have never been that trashy in my life, but hey I was hanging out with a little queen on her birthday weekend, Happy birthday Queen.  There was a line of girls waiting for the cubicles in the mens and they were shouting “Stop rooting boys we need to p” when we left I got a round of applause.  Pretty funny stuff, I was convince I was going to get kicked out for being a trash bag, but I didn’t happen.
The queeny Arab guy came home with me and slept in my arms till midday.  In bed he was lovely, as soon as he shut up I could stand him, even like him, but in the morning when it woke up…. Ouch my ears.  I have never liked campy guys like that before but to cuddle him all night long was so nice, he pressed in tight into my chest and body and fit perfectly in-between my arms he was beautiful to hold and fuck.  I would love to cuddle him again, but I don’t think he wants to, for whatever reason, it’s funny because I would be embarrassed to be seen with him in public, and yet he is rejecting me, how funny.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Random Thoughts



The bad thing about my boredem funk is it has spread to my desire to write about my sexual anttics, I've still been up to a few but its all so dull to me I couldn't care less, and I haven't wanted to be sexual lately, I have just been so bored I needed sex to give me something to do.  Its the first time I've used sex as a boredem beater, is there any need that sex can't fill.  I haven't been able to get to sleep before 5am each night for 7 nights my body clock is up the creek.

So here is my week in non related fragments.

Last night I found my new Mercedes M class 4WD I want and I think I will have it before the end of the month, but even that bores me, I couldn't care less, a new Mercedes buddie, this doesn't happen every day cheer the fuck up boyo.  My first new Mercedes, my first new car, I'm not even paying for it, a tax break from my business is paying for it.

When I was at Body Line today the hottest guy in Sydney pretty well told me to "fuck off" it hurt alot, I don't know why, I guess rejection hurts especially when I like him a lot.  Last time we where there he was really into me, but sure enough I was right he is back to igoring me.  I opened up this months DNA mag and on page 4 is a photo of three sexy guys, and I have been on a date with 2 of them in the same week, good going for me, my lucky streak continued, but today was a nasty relaity check, if I am going to fish out of my pond, then I might get lucky some times, but these super hot guys aren't going to be into me when I'm probably not in the top 10,000 hottest gay guys in Sydney, but I think I may have been with 3 in the top 20 in Sydney in the past 2 weeks.

While I was at BL I also saw my school captain there, it was really funny to walking around buck naked crusing for sex with a guy I went to school with, especially the up standing citizane he was.  He is really famous now, big in Hollywood, you would know who he is if I told you, a real Sydney A gay when he is in town, along with my other two school friends, one is also a big time TV director, directing the highest rating show on Australian TV ATM, and the other one is an A Gay in his mind, and on the cusp in my mind, but we are back to talking again after 3 months off, he appologised for his past behavior.  Any way the funny news is he is living with his boyfriend and he is cheating on BF in under 6 months, and cheating alot.  I told him I think he is pathetic to treat his good guy boyfriend like that and he said "Well he is a dud root, I love him, but he is shit at sex"  I think it is halerious, they both have this shinny A Gay image on the out side, but as I said to my friend "You seem to have traded your sex life for a nice apartment and security"  Some thing I would never do, I love sex way to much to give it up for anyone.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Romance is Dead

   
Romance is dead, that’s how it feels to me, and as my favorite poet ms Minogue once elegantly put it, “I’m in a funk, I’m in a funk, I’m in a F.F.F.F.U.N.K”.  Default behavior of the bored lead me to the healing waters of Body Line, to feel better and it worked, but not in a way I would have thought.  I ran into the super hot Italian guy from October 2010 “What a difference a day makes” blog, Mr_Soul.  He was interested in me again which was nice, because I fucking love him, he is still in my top 20 hottest guys in Sydney, and probably the 2nd hottest guy I have ever had sex with, and tonight he gave me his phone number, saying “I’m working on the Gold Coast for 2 weeks, see you when I get back.”  Flights are only $50 at the moment maybe he is lonely, should I ask? Maybe he needs a hotel playmate, someone to come home to after a hard day at the office?   I will resist as long as I can, but either way the thought of having 2 weeks to get myself as hot as I possibly can is making me happy.  This guy is a 10 and can have anyone; I can’t, so lying in the spa my mind went into self preservation mode.  “If I like him and he dumps me how much pain will he cause me? Verses if it goes well?  It’s not a good equation because, he can hurt me a lot by rejecting me, but even if it worked out I get bored, so it won’t really work anyway” this was running through my head.  He is the trifecta, lust worthy, nice guy and into me.  Is there a chance I might not get bored with him? Slim, but it still seems like it’s worth hanging onto the idea, because without that hope, what hope is there to hang onto?  Plan of attack is, use the new happiness he has given me to bump myself out of my rut, hit the gym hard, eat like an ant, and if our date or happiness doesn’t eventuate, then at least he got me out of my funk, and god bless him for that, good plan Bridget, I’ll start first thing in the morning.
So to summarize, my new plan is to have romance, not relationships, and not one timers, good plan Bridget.
Do get into a relationship / romance there is only 4 things that need to happen, only 4 and yet it is still so elusive.  Find someone lust worthy, a personality you can tolerate or even like, good sexual chemistry and they be into you.  It seems that I must not be lust worthy.  I find guys I think are hot, nice guys, good sex but at the end of the day, they just don’t like me.  I really must need to make myself hotter; that must be the missing equation.  Or fish in a smaller pond.  But I’m never happy doing that when I know there is a bigger pond out there, how does anyone settle?  I’m sure not happy at the thought of settling, I need that za za zu, I’m not living without it.
Davidoff Cool Water, Davidoff, Imperial Tobacco Group plc, Print, Outdoor, Ads

Davidoff Cool Water, Davidoff, Imperial Tobacco Group plc, Print, Outdoor, Ads

Sunday, June 5, 2011

And The Next Step Is.....



I am in a funk today, I can't get out of it, it's not that bad and I'm interested to see how how it's going to lift.  I am better, no longer sick, that's great, but I'm so bored.  It's like I'm a bored rich person with nothing to do, except I'm not rich.  I need to get busier with work so that I'm not bored.  I was at Beresford this evening and it was bleak.  Hot guys everywhere, no one interested in anyone, no romance in the air, and there were a few older guys there, like mid 40's who hadn't been looking after themselves and apart from sticking out like dogs balls, I know that one day that will be me, well could be me.  I had a scene from Will & Grace after Will had broken up with Vince and he was trying to think positive in front of Karen, which is always a mistake.

Will  "I'm a catch"
Karen  "who told you that, your mother?"
among other people
Face it Will your a 42 year old gay man just out of a relationship, your life is over, you will never find love now, its too late, its never going to happen, you know that
That's not true, I 'm a lawyer, I'm good looking, I'm a nice guy, plenty of guys will like me, I earn great money
Will, your an annoying control freak that's over the hill with impossibly high standards, no one's going to bye into that, face it your life is going to be spent with Grace, and by yourself.

Will then bursts into tears crying, saying "yes that is true isn't it, my life is over"

I think my sex life, which seems to have been bordering of sex addiction, was a great help in making me feel better through those 2 months of asthma, but now that I feel better, I am hoping its going to take a back seat for a while.  I thought that old saying, too much of a good thing, was a joke, but I think it might be true, I have been having very high quality sex, and yet still no satisfaction, I'm a bit bored by it the last few days, went clubbing Friday night, also good fun, but boring, what to do, what to do.

I'm not a foodie, couldn't care less about wine, as one date once said to me when I asked "Do you have hobbies?"
Living in Sydney is all you need, who needs a hobbie when you have beaches, gay clubs, cafes, restaurants, who needs to collect stamps? that's what you do when you live in a small back water of a town.
I kind of agree with this, but with out sex or clubs, what is there to do?  I'm so BORED!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Grindr Truths



DTE = Down to earth, but what it really means is I used to be hot, but then my looks vanished and now the only thing I have left is telling other gays that they are immature and I am Superior to them in my out look on life.
Or my therapist said that my anxiety disorder has its up sides, one is my life never spirals out of life as much as other gays, and just because the other gays say I'm boring for working in the government sector, my therapist said to turn my frown upside down, re brand my image and now I'm Down To Earth.

Not into Queenie guys or Straight Acting Guys Only, or No Fems.  These are all just different versions of, I used to be a screaming queen myself, but then one night out on the piss I ran out of money, and non of my fucking bitch whore fat queen friends would keep buying for me, because they like said that I have a drinking problem, but the real reason is that they are like um all fucking apprentice hair dresses making $250 a week them selves, and like so they never have any money themselves anyway.  But then like, I sobered up and I realised that when I'm not drunk all my friends are really Queenie and all the hot jock guys were pointing and laughing at us, and now I don't even want to be seen with my old friends because I think they reflect badly on me.  But like this was like 8 years ago, and I still don't have one single straight friend, and I'm afraid that if I don't surround myself with butch straight acting guys at all times, I might relapse in who I was at 19, because that person really is only one Bacardi toBreezer away from bubbling to the surface, like, um so yeah, that's why I can't have any fem guys around me at all, my masculinity is really fragile, but um I just tell people I'm more butch then they are.

No Asians = this means I'm not into Asians, but what it really means is that I am racist, but think its OK to act racially sexually Superior to a whole race of people, because I think they are all fem and small dicked, but I'm not experienced enough to know that apart from being great people who can make great friends, some of them are so fucking hot and masculine, that they would be so far out of my league it isn't funny, go to Body Line on a night when there a few hot, cool Asians in the house with their tats and great bodies and hair cuts, no one can get near them they are so hot. 

TotallTop = I'm to insecure to let anyone fuck me, because I think I am less of a man if I do, its like my uncle said as he was molesting me, your only gay if your being fucked.  Or the other reason is, I tried to bottom once when I was first coming out, and let my mate stick his dick in me when I was drunk, but it hurt like shit, doesn't it always hurt?

Total Bottom = I have lots of emotional problems and I take them out on my anus, the more my rectum is stretched and fucked the less my heart hurts.

Don't do hook ups, looking for love = I have a small penis and I don't want anyone to find out, so the less people who see it the better, if they love me, they have to love my small dick.

NSA = No Strings Attached sex, really means I am a dud root, no one asks me back for a second round

I like Big Guys = I like to feel protected and like the women in the relationship

I like skinny Guys = My dick looks bigger going in and out of an anorexic.

I like to swallow cum = I'm desperate for approval, please like me, or I'm vegan and need organic based protein.

I like to Bare Back = I have AIDS and if I don't I soon will, I hate life, I don't care what happens to me, death can't come soon enough.

Bug Chaser = some one who wants to get AIDS to feel like part of a community.


Thursday, June 2, 2011

A Modern Day Fairy Tale



Get into bed Jimmy and I will tell you a story, what would you like to hear tonight?
I want the one about the builder, the masseur, the DNA cover model, the movie star and the First Grade foot ball player.
Once upon a time in a land far far away called oz, there was a beautiful emerald city by the sea called Sydney.  In this city lots of beautiful boys and girls lived, and some of these beautiful boys grew up to like other beautiful boys.  Some of the beautiful girl, grew into beautiful girls and moved to a suburb called Bondi, where they practiced tannius maximus ( tanning to the max) and died their hair golden yellow and where known as Bondi bikes, because every buff trades man, surfer dude and German backpacker in Bondi got to ride them.  A few girls didn’t grow into beautiful women and they moved to a land called Erskinville, land of the overweight dykes.  These women, although many have good hearts, most have substance abuse problems and refused to wear makeup or carry a handbag and want to be mechanics and truck drivers, this annoys the pretty gay boys very much, as they only like pretty shiny feminine things, and any woman who didn’t wear makeup or a dress and heals, when the boys would have loved to if they could, drove them insane.
One particularly mild winter evening, one of these pretty gay boys had a very lucky evening.  The day before he had managed to get two parking tickets in one day, very bad luck.  He had also been very sick and was very poor and down trodden by life and his family treated him badly just like his twin sister Cinderella.  Well pretty gay boy builder was walking along when he found a magical shinny gem called an iPhone which had magical powers, the most powerful was a program called Grindr, that allowed all the good hearted gay boys of Sydney to let gay boy builder know how much they loved him, cared for him and how sexy they thought he was.  This particular evening one very good looking gay boy messaged gay boy builder (GBB) and asked him to meet up.  GBB didn’t believe that the photo belonged to the person messaging him, because this photo looked amazing.  So he met up with him just to see if he was lying.  He wasn’t, and he turned out to be a 22 year old DNA cover model, who seemed to like GBB for some reason.  GBB was shocked by this because, the DNA model was also a top Sydney personal trainer and a nice person, who asked GBB to get in his magical black chariot called a Holden Commodore SS V8 Ute.  They had a very nice time together talking, driving around Sydney, and DNA model said, “let’s be friends and hang out” nice one thought builder boy.
Builder boy was walking back to his car when a magical wizard called a “Top Sydney Masseur” Grindr message him to come over his practice for a chat.  It was now 10 pm and the practice was closed, so GBB was glad this guy had stopped being a snob because he looked like fun, and they had been chatting for two weeks.  One thing lead to another and the magical wizard who had healing hands was giving GBB a free massage on the massage table, both naked.  GBB was very happy about this as the Wizard was from a place called “The Middle East” where GBB thinks the men are very sexy and good looking.  GBB then gave the wizard a massage and they were both now covered in high grade massage oil from head to toe, so I mounted the hot Arab and started to fuck him on the table.  If you haven’t every fucked using high grade massage oil, go and do it immediately, because it is incredible, and the massage table is great because I could ride his cock with both my legs hanging touching the ground.  He had the most perfect cock and balls that guys from that part of the world often do.  He was an awesome top and he fucked me amazingly, one and half hours later I was trying to walk back to my car, and my legs would not work, I could not feel them, I had had so much great sex they were shaking and I could control them.  He is the practice owner and it is one of those really high end ones in the city.  He is friends with Russel Crow the actor, and some of the first grade NRL foot ball players, and he said, do I want to come to breakfast with one of them tomorrow morning, his favorite 22 year old first great player, not sure if Russel will make it, he does some mornings he said.

 I chose to write this like a fairy tale because it really is, I can’t believe what a night I have had.  It sounds too good to be believed, even by me and it just happened to me.  I wish I could show you which NRL player I am meeting tomorrow because he is a real spunk, as is the DNA model, but I had better not, or should I?
And they a lived happily ever after, having lots of sex, the end.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

And The Winner Is.....



The votes are in and its official I have just been voted best top in Sydney.

"I would like to thank my enormous balls for never quiting, um my constant sex drive mainly due to my asthma medication which is all steroids, my asthma which has made me unable to work for 8 weeks which has given me heaps of free time and boredom, I would also like to thank anger, hate, disappointment  and lack of direction for giving me the pain inside that gives me the sex drive to kill the pain inside.  Special thanks needs to go to my mother for being the neglectful bitch that she is, with out her total abandonment and hurtful ways none of this sex addiction could have been possible.  I also need to thank all those bottom boys out there who with out their total passiveness, no top would be able to to do his work.  Thanks to everyone who voted for me, I look forward to another year full of meaningless pointless sex, plugging those needy holes in the trenches, hope to see you all back here again next year to regain my crown as reining top of Sydney, Good night and stay horny, needy and single."

To a more factual event, last night I meet up with a straight mate, who is separated, two kids, tradie, and possibly off to jail for 2 years next month, he is just waiting sentencing.  We went to dinner and he was calm and in a good mood, and said "want to see a movie?" this is rare for him, he is ultimate, lets drink, gamble go to the hookers and chase girls type of guy.  "Yes a movie would be good, but I have a better idea, if your off to jail, you had better learn how to negotiate a head job without having to give one, you should come to the sauna with me and have your first male to male sex experience so it doesn't happen in jail"
"mmm sounds like fun, but I'm not really up for it".
Well I put a little pressure on him and got him to come reluctantly.  We went Body Line because it was naked night at Ken's and didn't think he could Handel naked guys every where.  He had a spa with me then I showed him the glory holes, he locked himself in a room and next time I saw him he was running out of the place fully dressed.  I meet up with him latter. 
"That was the BEST head job of my life, I hadn't wanked in two weeks and that guy just drank the whole lot, he sucked me dry, but then he flopped his dick through the hole and I had to wait till he left so I could get out of there with out looking at him"
It was a funny night, and I told my friend who works there, he laughed so hard, he gave me a free pass for being a legend who go a straight boy into body line, especially one who is off to prison.
My mate is a real dude, and he was so excited about what he had just done he wanted to ring and tell his other straight mates, but I said think about it before you do it, he recons he will tell the boys in the smash repairer he works at, but who knows.  He has a mate who spends $1000 a week on hookers, I said you need to get that mate to a sauna cause he can't afford to keep spending that much money on hookers, when he has a kid and wife.  My mate said, who cares who is sucking you dick, its $15 verse $230 for half an hour at a hooker.