Grey Days, Sunny Moods

I think these pictures show how my life changed.  The grey rainy ones are only 2 month ago when it was raining in sydney for a week.  The sunny ones are today, by my pool and tennis court, I am in love, well happy any way and every thing is sparkly and shinny.

Have just found out potential new boyfriend has a dog.  A very cool designer dog, my favorite kind, a Dalmation.  So maybe if we get off the ground we will be one of those horribly revolting gay couples, double income, designer cloths and apartments, European cars, Holidays, perfect skin and teeth, large share portfolios, great wine collection and thats right bringing up the rear, a designer dog.  I do want to adopt an Arab boy  and turn him into an Arabic prince that would run all over sydney and the world breaking girls or boys hearts with his good looks and charm.  Imagine that, a good looking young arab man, with two gay dads who spoil him rotten and teaching him how to charm and manoiver women and men better than any parents have ever taught their children before.  LOL I would deffinately creat a monster.  I want to adopt a little girl as well, but I wouldn't want her to much of a princess, there are enough of them in the world as it is.  I thing girls need good hearts, as to boys, but boys need swagger as well.

Put an Iphone on it

Put an Iphone on it

I have had an extremely interesting day.  After sleep over number two and date number three with my South America Lover, as I was driving him back to his car he hoped on his phone and ordered me an iphone because he knew I wanted one and its being delivered Tuesday.  This is the single biggest grand gesture anyone has ever done for me.  I am feeling very loved and special.  To make it even grander, he has an iphone 3 and he ordered me an iphone 4.  I said you have the new one and I will have the old one, “no no, I don’t care about that I don’t want a new phone, you have it.” Was his answer. Aaaarrhhhh so sweet.  I then made sure I phoned 6 of my female friends today to rub their noses in it.  Well just show off, no boyfriend of theirs will ever compete after this.  Their expectations will be ruined.  I told my neighbor and she said “put an iphone on it” is the iphone the new jewelry?  Is an Iphone a gay boys diamond ring?  I have heard wearing a wedding band makes some people like bees to honey, you get more interest than when you don’t where it.  An iphone gives you grindr, which is guess is similar.

So today as I thought about the grand romantic gesture from someone who we both thought would be heading in the friendship direction, makes me wonder if I have an unexpected functioning relationship on my hands.  Zero expectations from both of us as we both like to live for the day not the past or future.  But as I calmly went about my business today I noticed quite a few single 40 year olds / late 30s and 40’s plus gay men about.  You’re all completely fucked.  Now I know I am 30 writing this, but how come I’m on my game at an age appropriate age?  Pairing off at 31, seems good and fine, dating at 31 looks good.  But 40 and still single and still going to saunas, I mean really, what’s going on.  I have one good friend who is 45, doesn’t look it, and single and my god he is a cautionary tale.  Good looking guy, big TV profile, two failed relationships, one for 8 years and one for 5, ended up at 40, no house, no boyfriend.  Drank like a fish and took copious amounts of drugs, probably killing the pain of loneliness I think, and he has love to give I think, he was always very caring of me.  Am I lucky? Am I smart to be at this stage at this age?  Are other people silly?  Was I lucky I read “10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Love” and others guys haven’t been lucky to come across it, or aren’t looking for help?  I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I hate smug couples and I WILL never be one, but I do feel loved today.  I thought that I too was on track for being a cautionary tale.  “Cassius so much promise, so talented, never had any luck in love, died lonely, always alone.”

Its amazing how one little piece of technology can mean so much.  I now belong to the iphone club, but I thought about a few other tick boxes that I have now filled as well. 

Have designer warehouse conversion apartment with swimming pool in inner city   tick

Drive cool designer SUV, a leather clad Jeep    tick

Now have age appropriate career focused boyfriend with kind heart.   Tick

Have own business and work as a tradie, have sexy tradie body and sexy straight tradie friends.    Tick

Have cool designer background with architecture degree    tick

Have a cult following of my writing on culturally exposing blog    tick

Things changed from bleak to brilliant almost overnight, well at least my perception of what I had did.  Maybe meeting someone new and nice was the only thing missing, and once that peg was in that whole I realized that all the other pegs were already in theirs.  Here’s hoping they don’t change back just as quickly.

Project White Trophy Boyfriend

-          If you can’t tone it, tan it -

Turning myself into a trophy boyfriend is my project ATM.  I need to lose fat, gain muscle, tan…mmm….optional, and track down a boy who is interested in me.  One good thing is I am getting very narrow in what I want.  I know what I want for the first time ever.  As far as personality goes they need to be decent and honest and all the virtues that a person should have, to me that’s just basic good manners.  It’s not really an option everyone should have it in them automatically.  My South American friend has been warning me about dating Lebo men as he went to school with them and knows them inside out and even though they are hot, the ones he knows are all deceitful and week willed and lazy.  I acknowledge that the area he went to school in this is probably the case, but surely there are some hot ME guys out there who went to good private schools and who embrace the Australian way of life, they can’t all come from the Lebo ghetto out west.  I need him to be my age and manly like me, I would like someone who is a builder like me.  But I am educated, as an Architect so I have a few builder friends who can keep up with me intellectually, but lots can’t.  So I guess I have my target market worked out, I want a Lebanese or other Arab builder who is gay, manly and if not educated, then smart enough to know that there is a big world out there and be open to new people and ideas.  I’m flexible on race and occupation, but not attitude.  I’m getting very excited because now that I know what I want I can’t help but think there must be someone I want who is out there looking for a masculine white 6 foot  Aussie smart educated builder with my own business, with blue eyes and dark features, who is sensitive and funny enough to write a blog like this.

Roll up, roll up, applicants apply here.

Happy Times

Dinner at Favela was lovely, apart from the nice Brazilian BBQ we ordered a jug of Mojito’s , yummy, we then went and visited my hot Spanish friend at his Café across the road for coffee’s follow by a walk all around kings cross to walk off our all we could eat dinner.  We dropped passed the Clock Hotel in Surry hills to meet a friend and her new boyfriend, I then drove my neighbor home, and I headed back out because I wanted to check out a new club called “The Hunky Dory Social Club”, it was ok but not me, I ducked across the road back to the bear bar at the Oxford Hotel, mmmm no lebo hotties for me there so I went for a run up and down Oxford street seeing what was busy, it was all a little quite, I went to Arq, also not really happening, so I went passed “Name This Bar” and the music was great so I went in and sat on the lounges and just chilled listening to very new cool house music that I haven’t heard before.  The bar was full of hot white girls and boys and I was watching the cool white boys dance and they were so sexy.  It was so nice to be able to like my own race.  The way they dance is just so cool and aloof, its so cerebral compared to the leb boys I like.  The reminded me of the KKK (Kool Kids Klub) I used to hang with from the ANU Law school when we would go to all the raves on Canberra.  It was great to finally find a straight bar the plays cooler music than a gay bar.  I have been waiting a very long time to find one.

Things are still going very well for me, it’s just so nice not to have any issues and to be happy, well feed, loved, healthy with money in my pocket.  But the best thing on top of all the great nights I have had out in March is having someone in my life who I think might actually give a fuck about me.  Who would do something if I got sick, and who finds me sexy.  And who I care about and find sexy.  I am not having any stomach flips or anxiety, just plain calm warm fuzzy feeling of love, peace and contentment.  I guess I am 31 and I have never had anyone who would move mountains for me to make sure I was ok, it feels great.  Two people who don’t have issues and who have love to give…… nice.

All's Well

It took me 4 hours to clean my apartment yesturday.  That was non stop cleaning, no breaks, no TV, no cups of tea, no phone calls, just scrub a dub dub cleaning for 4 hours.  So need less to say dispite being shocked at just how long it takes to get a small apartment back to presentable, I think it is a reflection on the wonderful time I have been having during Mardi Gras.  I was trying to think of what to write about as I was cleaning, I was thinking I want to write, but what to write, what to write, and then I thought, I have no issues, thats why I'm happy and issue free.  But that in it's self is blog worthy.  I am so happy at the moment, lots of dates, lots of sex, new friends who so far have been great, lots of work and hence good money, beautiful sunny days in Sydney, good beach weather, and because I have been working out side I have a killer tan with out even trying.  I have been going to the best restraunts, without even planning it's just happening I have another one to go to tonight, Favela in Kings Cross, for those those of you who don't know it its this ultra cool Restaraunt that turns into a club later at night and the interior looks like a James Bond movie set from South America. The name is ironic as Favela means "the slums", which it is about as far away from being as possible.  The quality of food I have been eating is out of this world, I think that is part of why I am so happy, good food does lift your soul.  Mr_ Number's slept over last night, it was great, after we went out to the Golden Sheaf in Double Bay for dinner and a walk along the cliff tops in Dover Heights.  I seem to have found two new friends in Sydney who care about me it's really helped me be able to dump my userish former best friend.  With out new quality people in my life I would have been too lonely to be strong enough to stand up to abusive behavior.


Every aspect of my life is working which is so rare.  I've had good health for over a month, earned good money, have friends who want to hang out, high quality sex, a cool car thats working, massages, an Ipod play list thats cracking and when ever any one listens to it, they go "holy fuck you have good music can I please get a copy if your Ipod" my blog is going well with over 100 people viewing it a day! in 4 and half months, thats pretty cool.
Mr_Numbers slept over last night, it was nice, I think we both think we will only be friends, but hey who would kick a cute South American out your bed when you get on well and cuddle naturally.

Mardi Gras in Review

Mardi Gras in Review

-Well at Least I still have my shows-

This line has haunted me and made me laugh at the same time, since I saw “Gimme Gimme Gimme”, a show about a 29 year gay man living with a 40 year old woman both of them desperate for a root or a boyfriend, both of them totally hopeless at getting either or holding down a job.  Sounds like me.  Well not totally, but news on that in a minute.  But the thought that I could someday be old and poor, only able to afford to drink tea, because a tea bag at home works out cheaper than a cup of espresso coffee, I can only afford to eat bread and butter and sit at home waiting for my favorite shows to come on the telly, as it’s the only entertainment I can afford.  Oche!  Well I’m not there yet, but I am afraid at my impotence at being able to guide my life sometimes, and the path of least resistance is slippery slope to the bottom.

Now to a review of the past week:

1.        Hot Arab International Stud, two very nice fuck sessions over two days and a lovely date.  The rest of the time was spent with me calling him and him saying yes we would meet up but it never happened.  Lesson learnt: Don’t fuck tourists if you want more than sex and a two day romance.

2.       A Persian, just here in Australia to be a student, I was the first guy he has been on date with in Australia, so I was feeling very special and I felt that we had good chemistry and he was good looking and my type, at the end of our 4 hour date that was spent mostly walking around Paddington, he said Would you like to see me again?     Of course I would!  I say enthusiastically, but there is silence from him as I drive him to the train station.  Would you like to see me again?  I ask, I will have to think about it.  Is his answer.  Oche! The little fucker set me up, for a fall.  Oh well, I’m a citizen buddy, try calling me a month before you have to go home Iran, after you don’t get granted residency after studying here for 4 years.

3.       Reunited with hot black DJ who is identical twin of Usher this afternoon.  If not actually then he looks like it anyway.  We had amazing chemistry and I fucked him for two and half hours.  And he agreed to sort out ex boy friend this Thursday and if there is no progress there then he asked me to go on a date with him….. nice.

4.       And finally to the Alpha and Omega of my Mardi Gras week.  My numbers man, we have stayed in touch talking, had one date in Lakemba last week as we both like the hot Arabs, lots of phone calls and a date night to night at mine with a DVD and yummy pizza, wine and gelato.  Lots of cuddles and chemistry which makes us feel like we have known each other for years.  He said we won’t work due to our numbers being too similar; they have to be different to attract each other, so I guess we will be friends but I love my phone calls with him and the time we have spent is mind expanding.

All in all I’m very happy with my Mardi Gras this year, no big parties or drinking or drugs, but I hated how little I have dated up until recently and now I have seen 4 different guys in a week, it feels great.  I’m back on the net and buying an apple device this week so I can get on grindr.  I’m sick of waiting for it to work on Blackberries.  Someone taught me a trick, seeing as I like the Leb guys, drive out west where they all live and mark the good looking ones as favorites and they come up automatically every time even though I live in the city.  Good idea.  I’ve had great dates, great food, good friends company, great sex and fantastic cuddles, and I’m happy and content.  Men really do need high quality sex and cuddles to be happy; I think it is impossible for men to say they are truly happy without having both.

Embrace the Bear Within

I went out last night by myself as felt like partying and I had no one to go with.  I needed to fill in time before the Fomo Party at Arq started so after dinner I did something new and a little bit scary, I went across to the Oxford Hotel where the Bears hang out.  About 3 months ago I was walking down King Street in Newtown minding my own business when a beary looking guy, stopped me and said, “Mate you should grow a beard, you would make a magnificent Bear.”  Thanks I said and kept walking.  The comment rattled me a little, is that how the world sees me, a bear?  Isn’t that what gay men who have given up are?  I know they hide behind the whole marcho man thing, but I have been told they are just as bitchy and bigger queens with beer guts, beards and a condescending attitude to the rest of the gay community.  Well my first look into the bear scene was ok, I think I might be more of an Otter or Bear Cub.  Someone who isn’t a bear but likes them is called a bear hunter, how funny, and the size of your beard denotes your rank, a big beard makes you a bear High preist.

I went across the road to Arq and for some reason I just couldn’t get into it so I left fairly early and I was walking passed “Name This Bar” and the bouncer was an amazingly effortlessly handsome Lebanese man who was a total dream boat in my eyes.  So I went back and asked him if I can come in, and in I went and the DJ was amazing.  He looked Italian but he was playing this amazing Deep South Baptist Revival Gospel House Music.   I have never heard anything like it before in my life it was great and the place was full of Black Americans so I felt like I was in some bar in the Deep South.   My mum told me that our neighbors on the farm own that bar, how cool is that, NSW sheep farmers who own a bar on Oxford Street.  The Bouncer kept staring at me and he was friendly, but I had no idea how to work it.  He was so totally straight, but that’s the thing, he was totally masculine, but now that I know there are people out there who are rejecting the normal boy meets girls and gets married way of going through life, just because he presents as straight doesn’t mean that he is.  He may be the man, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to date one.  I’m trying to put myself out there and not judge people, just because they present straight, doesn’t mean they are, if I like them I’m going to let them know. 

The Peter Alexander pajama model was there, and she is so beautiful and fun, I was dancing with her, and there were nurses from St Vincent’s across the road who came in and partied in their Nurses scrubs.  How strange, but fun.   This 60 year old couple, man and woman, started playing with my bicep muscles, a bit strange, I was wearing a singlet, but other than that I wasn’t doing anything to invite their interest, I was quite bemused by their interest in my muscles.  It was in the middle of this wonderful hand clapping, feet stomping, praise the Lord I’m saved good time, that I realized just how wonderful this city is.

  I’m a white Aussie catholic, fucking a Muslim from Saudi Arabia, hanging out with my good Jewish friends, and I could go on the Jewish float in the Mardi Gras if I wanted to, dancing in a bar that sheep farmers own on Oxford St. with 60 year olds, black Americans, and the Peter Alexander Pajama Model, having a stare off with the hot Lebanese bouncer, to gospel music being played by an Italian DJ.  I love Sydney.

I might not meet any Body Guards so I think I might change my fantasy to Bouncer, a hot straight acting Lebanese bouncer for a boy friend, now that sounds good.  Apart from his looks, he seemed genuinly happy, that was what was attractive, he was happy to be alive and at work, now thats someone I want to be around.