OMG - holiday!

It's finally happenIng and I am emotional and can barely believe it, this poverty stricken, land locked, work aholic is going on an over seas holiday, finally at 31 first ever OS holiday and a good one too, to Dubai and Lebannon! My fantasy of fucking sexo lebo's is finally gunna come true. 4 star all the way baby. The strong Aussie dollar means my whole accommodation bill will be $500 for 10 nights! Flying Emeriates, half full plane, so 50% chance of getting business class up grade on my first ever OS flight! Should have been writing this from the plane but my pass port has me grounded due to lack of use till Monday, drama! At ten to four in the passport office, needless to say they won. Dear diary will I get to drink a gallon of sexy Lebo cum in 10 days? Or should i limit myself to a half pint? What STD's will I pick up? Is mouth clamidia worth it, it's only one pill after all to fix it.
Dear diary will I feel respected after such a knee bruising holiday? Probably not. Is a holiday romance on the cards? Will I be torn after meeting the man of my dreams and them meeting his beautiful wife?
Dram drama drama Marcia!
Think I will hire a bentley in Dubai, just to fit in and drive to Abu Darbi

WTF I'm Happy

A strange feeling has been creeping over me yes I'm happy and content and it feels strange. Because I have had a lot of shitty times I am now hyper vigilant for problems, and It makes me feel uneasy to have non. Went range rover and mercedes and new grand jeep test driving on Sunday and the new grand jeep is amazing, better than a merc or rangie. I have hit a good cash period I am banking 10k per week profit, u do the sums equals 40 k a month and 400 k a year..... If it continues. I sat in parramatta westfeild just sitting and thinking for a few hours, I guess just centering myself after Only having 2 days off in 8 weeks. Now that I have money I am trying not to respond to my needs all the time, to be less needs focus, more just happy.

Sexy work site

A little thing came out at work today which I find hilarious. I employ a very sexy tall dark good looking and good man from UAE. He is hot like the plumber but is a real family man and doesn't flirt with me so I have no feelings for him, because he doesn't blur the lines like plumber man. Any way we were shouting to each other, me on the roof, him in the street, and he started to talk about sex stories, now women were walking past and they heard what we were talking about and they started laughing, because his story was that one female client tried to pay him in sex, and he told his wife! How crazy! But then inside he told me he had been a stripper in his 20's in the 90's, like a good one, it was his full-time job. I believe him cause he is HOT! But not sexual to me and I like that he is only caring, not flirty. So my workers now consist of some serious beef cake, I have a black ck modle, sexy Lebo, stripper UAE, and sexy 24 year old confused latin lover apprentice, some times my stars just Aline, it's like i dreamt it and I woke up and it was true.
Next step, good body, range rover, and sex holiday to lebannon.

Thankful

Today I feel thankful, and grateful. I have money in the bank, my health is good, my business is growing. I feel provided for by the universe, a very rare feeling for me, may it continue, please

Straight Boy Orgy

Fun day today.  I won a $53K job.... yay, high profite hopefully.  I talked to sex lebo plumber about how he knew his brother had a dick that was the size of a leg of lamb, and he said," we had group sex with our cousins all the time".  WTF, you used to fuck around with your brother and cousins!  Apperetnly two of them are police men and they would get a hotel room with a few girls and 5 guys and just fuck like crazy for hours.  One time they even wore their police belts with guns and battens and hand cuffs as they fucked!  Hot stuff.  But how could he fuck around with his brother? I don't get it.  I could never do that.  He said his brothers cock is so big he slaped a girl in the face once and gave her a black eye and another girl had to have stiches down below.  Now I know that I come from a cold distant WASPY family,  and I have heard of this stuff before, but really, sex with your brother, well in the same room anyway sounds aweful.  I really don't get this, straight guys showering together, having sex together but not with each other, sounds uncomprehensible to me.  I do not get it.  Now to my next queastion if I was invited to one of these things, sure the women would be a problem to me, but if I was introduced to all the guys as gay, would I be allowed to suck cock, grab balls, and generally help out, or would I have to only play with the girls.  See I am thinking I could give a better blow job than 99 % of women, and take it harder then them, but would the boys be up for it it the numbers were uneven.  Yes? or would homophobia reign even in the heat of the moment.  They must like each others company if they do it next to each other, or am I really missing the plot.  Do they get together for the circus of group sex, not to get hard of each others mascaline energy.  See I can't draw the line where they do, if I was getting excited with my mates in a room with me I would want to fuck them as well, not just fuck a chick and watch them.  I can not get it.

Had a great lay this arvo, 4pm, a job that was a quote turned sexy and I nailed the fuck out of the hot greek guy.  Arhhhhhhhh sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight!  Its been a long time coming.  2 Hours high quality

Stay Sexy Sydney.

Words I like

My favorite word for high use atm is disingenuous, it's such a current unviersity educated differentiation word for this year. I love dropping it into conversations and whatching
Peoples face twitch as they try to work out the meaning. It becomes addictive.
My next favorite is ubiquitous. This is new to my vocabulary. It basically means when westie chicks started wearing D&G sunnies, designer sun glasses where no longer cool.

Malaise, a low to mid level depression that continues and won't lift, sometimes unnoticeable to the person going through it.
Polyamorous, a person with multiple lOvers, a classier way of saying someone is a slut. I taught these words to some builder friends with vocAbs below 2000, so much fun giving them big words to throw round and shock others with their new found big words, I love empowering people who havn't had a chance at education, it's lots of fun for us all.

Some Answers

I finally have some answers about hot lebo plumber and I.  We went on our first man date last night and it was gooooood, very good.  He had a great time so did I.  I am going to let him read this post, and my blog as well so, its pretty brave of me to let him see my real feelings out here in writing.  Basically he keeps telling me he is not gay, never will be, will never cheat on his wife, never will.  Which is all fine and good, but where does that leave me and what I feel.  I don't want to be one of these gay guys who says every one is gay they just don't know it.  Its just we get on really well, so if I feel chemistry why can't he.  It makes me feel very unloveable, that I can have my peak expirence of friendship or closeness or a date or a crush, and he can't have those feelings for me.  If I am attracted to him because of who he is, why can't he feel the same towards me.  If we can hang out for 5 hours going pop di pop pop, crackling away with great conversation and closness why wouldn't you want to go home and fuck afterwards.  Getting dropped off to go home alone after feeling the closest I have to a man ever, is not a nice feeling, I lay awake for 3 hours on Grindr bitching about my broken heart to any random who would talk to me.  Some of his attraction to me was explained, he opened up and told me about the presure he feels as a father, a husband, a son and finacialy.  It sounded bleak.  I got a little sad for him when it all came out like it did.  I guess he views me as a breath of fresh air, no children, no resposiblity, no problems and because he can't have female friends I am a female subsitute, the brain of a girl, but wifey won't get jealous.  He hates straight guys as friends because of their stupidity.  Well I guess I want to stick around, even though I am in pain, because I can't have what I want.  I would never entrap him, because afterwards he would hate me, for messing with his head, and being there as an escape when he was at a low point.
I can't help but wonder if there is more to his attraction to me than the reasons he gave, but there is too much he would loose if he ever played around, so I guess I will never know and need to move on, and just see him as a friend.
But now where does that leave me.  How do I stop straight boys playing havic on my heart when I can't find anything better in the gay pool.  Where is the quality.

I went to Manly today for some much needed me time, and I saw a woman helping two very handicapped people across the street it made me burst into tears, I managed to have a good cry.  I finally got the release I have been needing, and I feel much better now.  When the dance song "Say my name" by Aman Van Helden starts to sound poignat, I think I really truely am feeling EMO. I am Addictted to music to make me feel something as I have become num.

Mate I hope when you read this that you aren't threatened by me, or yourself, you just need to realise that when I have no one in my life who gives a flying fuck about me, and you do, and you are sexy, those feelings are going to roll up into attraction for me.  I will be ok, I guess I will move on, I usally do anyway, I'm just a bit raw ATM and it is nice to feel something pleasant and hard to let to go of it.