End of an Era: All a bit too much really

How my family got around.  Any yes we had this album growing up too.

To blog or not to blog……… drunk that is.  It’s Monday evening and I have had 10 standards I estimate in an hour and my keyboard is loaded.  I drank in a bar, not alone and it is the Monday before Christmas, so summer festivity, yes maybe I could pass it off as that if I had to.

Why so you ask? Well my anxiety was off the Richter scale today and I can’t put my finger on why so I write in the hope excising the demon.

Too many coffee’s…. yes.  But I am about to self disclose a side you may never get to see again.  I am part heir to a small Australian family dynasty and my mother has just told me by email last night that she is going to sell the family business that has defined 3 to 4 generations of how we have defined who we are as a family.   My real family name is famous in a certain part of Australia and whenever I give my name in that city people suddenly light up and want to be my friend or at least ask me questions about my family and how I fit into it. There is a National trust museum dedicated to my family as one of founding families of Australia, now that I live in Sydney my name means nothing and I am just fine with that.  But where I am from it is as if my last name was Packer or Murdoch. 

In my opinion my parents were too dedicated to a failing business that consumed every waking hour and they neglected their large family as a consequence.  The financial markets have not been kind to my parents, but they have never had to work for anyone else, always being their own boss and master and ruling over their empire with an impish bratty disregard for the financial realities of “meeting the market” that anyone who works in business knows is a must.  They have been shielded from their selfish ways by their deep pockets which must have finally run out.  And seeing as my Mother has had to do it all by herself since my father died a few years ago, it has all gotten too much and 120 year of family history is coming to an end. 

To sue or not to sue? That is the question.   I have been abandoned and discriminated against in the most horrible ways and as one person asked “do you think it is because you are gay?” and I am beginning think that it is.  While not “out” as such to my family, we are like the US military, don’t ask don’t tell.  My mother has huge prejudice against gay people and her spite is painful to watch.   But she is a woman of the world from working at the leading Australian Hospital for HIV research and care, and seeing as she worked there in the 70’s when the sexual revolution was in full swing I’m sure she has seen some sights and can pick a homo from a block away, including me her son.

So yes it’s the end of an era, part of the family biz is a large cattle station out west where we have planes, helicopters, horses, motor bikes, and hot stations hands.  Ahhh no more, pet horses and general gallivanting around on toys.  No more being the boss and wielding influence.  No more swimming pool and tennis court and neighbors who are all your friends and who have been your neighbors for 5 generations.

To sue my own mother make me sick to my core, but it may be necessary to stop the unfair distribution of assets which has happened my whole 20’s and might continue now that my mother is finally “cashing in”.  So I guess that’s why I needed a few drinks tonight, it’s all a bit too much really.  Homophobia is alive and well, at least in my family it is.