Discos and Days Gone By

I have up loaded some old CD’s onto my IPod and I am having flash backs to the late 90’s early 2000’s lying here and I have to write about it.  The dance music from the time leading up to New Year’s 2000 was so druggie.  It was a lot darker and deeper than the happy house that followed, and took me too very very far away places; in fact the music is really quite depressing, well at least that’s how it makes me feel.  One of the most wonderful things about music is that no one knows what direction it will go in next.  No one knows what the next big hit is going to be.  All I knew when I was 19 was that I liked to go out with my friends dancing.  Other people were into pubs, and drinking and I liked drinking and dancing, not restaurants and not drinking in a pub for drinking’s sake.  Smash a few shots and standards and then hit the floor and dance all night.  The music that was out back then, even if most of it sounds like crap now compared to where house music has taken us now, it was still great back then compared to all the shit that was played on the radio like Jimmy Barns and all the other shouting angry men from the rock scene.

I’m quite excited about dating again.  I have a new found enthusiasm and excitement, thanks to “10 Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love”.  I’m no longer going to hide from relationships, thinking that they can’t work between two guys.  I have a new found hope and I find it all really exciting and refreshing and new.  Well new again, that’s why these old deep trance songs are so strong on me, I’m open to love again, and it feels like when I was 22 going through all these feelings for the first time, but listening to these dark trance tunes makes me wonder how much of my anxiety and depression about being gay and not begin able to make it work with a guy last time round was made more intense because of the music.  All those dark anxious feelings were flooding back today and as soon as I changed the song they went away.  When I’m in love or in a heightened romantic state, it seems that I have to be careful about what music I listen too.