I HATE this philosophy, but I have two male friends who live by it, one straight one gay. I think it is immature and I can’t wait until they both get bitten in the arse by this ridiculous attitude to love and friend ship. The straight one got his girl live in girl friend pregnant and has since had a second kid with her and he is still with holding love, saying that whoever loves the other one the least wins because the one who loves most does all the work in the relationship. What the fuck? What a stupid way to go through life, having children with someone and still not committing and still not saying I love you. I recon the first time he says I love you will be after the lovely girl friend, has run out of love, is dried up and bitter and is walking out the door with his two children to start a new life with someone who values her for the women with love to give that she is. How damaged do you have to be to reduce your life to a petty game of withholding of love, to keep the other person dancing on egg shells hoping you will one day love her?
The gay one was my best friend and he is in a new relationship, but he is so selfish it will only be a matter of time until his new boyfriend realizes just what he has got on his hands. My friend thinks we don’t hang out any more because he has a new boyfriend, but he doesn’t know that my new year’s resolution was not to spend any more time with him until he starts to do some self less acts. Even though we never dated, we are very close and he had me wrapped around his little finger basically I would put all the work into our friendship not realizing I was not getting anything back because we have so much fun when we hang out. But ask him to do anything for me that involves the slightest inconvenience and would simply say no. And when you pointed out anything he did that annoyed you he would simply say “If you don’t like it you can fuck off.” So I started to avoid criticizing or asking anything of him that I knew I wouldn’t get to avoid his withholding of friend ship. That was until I got sick and he never once visited me, and then I realized in 4 years of living in Sydney he had never made the trip to my house, I had traveled to him every time we have done something, sometimes 5 nights a week. NO MORE BUDDY! I can’t wait until both their houses come crashing down around there ears, I can’t believe the universe hasn’t taught them to change their ways yet, it’s a flawed way of relating to the world and I CAN'T WAIT to see them humbled.
And the funny things is I can write about here because even thought they both know I write this blog and I have asked them to read it several times, neither of them do because they are so wrapped up in their own lives that reading about someones elses is too inconviencing for them.
I dunno if you read the guru section of the Saturday Age... in Sydney I think its in the Saturday Sydney Morning Herald.
ReplyDeleteYou could submit this question and see what answers he gives you. I understand your dilemma and it happens everyday. Ultimately friendship is a matter of distance.