Marriage proposal

My man told me to stop obsessing about him, get a job, and in his mind it was already fate comple about us.... He said I want a life with u. I want to marry u, we will have a life together, u r the only one I have ever let in my house. He said. Omg!!! I couldn't believe it! Not sure why he is so sure so soon, but I like it... I have deleted grindr and all the others to focus on him.

I dont know what to with do with my 5 free hours a day with out grindr, who knew there were so many free hours in a day.

The Number One

I am happy to report that I am the happiest I have ever been.  I have met the most amazing guy and he has blown my mind in the way he completes me.  I have never felt as though I have had my needs met and my fantasies forfilled as well as he meets them.

He is my absolut dream guy, a sexy full sick Habib, Lebanese born and bred muslim boy with a heart of cream custard so far and he cant get enough of me.  He sucked 5 loads of beautiful love posion out of cock tonight in 3 and half hours, he is so dedicated to me, and my needs, and I am so very attracted to him.  His body is so buff and hairless he could be the photo on the side of an underware packet.  But even more important is our connection.  Being connected in the moment is my number one important thing and he is so into me and sex and us that I think he is amazing, and the one.  I really do, I know that there will be problems into the future, but right here and now, every thing is amazing and absolutly perfect.

Bitterness

Being newly single last week I got back out there and had two dates on the same day.  Both guys seemed very nice on line, but when I met them they were horrible!!  They were both very affected 40 year olds who were using old photos, to show themselves in their glorious past.  Liars, and one was drunk, I left in a huff from him, instant block as I walked out the door.

Apart from reinforcing that the guy had been seeing was a very good guy, it taught me one other very valuable leason.
Have you ever wondered why middle aged and older gay men can be so bitter, affected and full of hate and venom.  I never under stood how these bitter old queens evolved into that person.  But I figured out that its sure despration from not getting their needs met.  They have been looking for love and not been able to find it.  Even my 3 week little love in was enough to recharge my batteries and restore my belief in love.  It was good what I had and I choose to walk away from it. But if I hadn't had that good expirence I might have become bitter.  I will no longer be quick to judge bad behaviour from old gay men.  I feel sorry for their disappointment.  It must  be aweful.

My new title track!!

Depatures Lounge

Its been 3 weeks and we have been sleeping over almost every night.  If I had written this on any other day you would have heard about how good everything is, but at the three week mark I have had a good think and, due to him liking me more than I like him, and him seeming to want to skip straight into a relationship, I am looking for ways to exit this.  I think it is not fair on him to keep dating him, if he isn't comfortable with loose dating.  I can't stand any of his friends I have met and he picked up on that this weekend and said it was a problem, its only a problem to me if he wants to be in a relationship, its not a problem if he is happy to date with out comitment.  Basically it comes down to me not wanting to build a life with him, I can't see myself waking up next to this guy the rest of my life.  I think he does with me.  I would never have spent so much time with him if I was serious about this, I would have had rules and boundires, and if he was sensible he would have done the same.  But because Im not really that invested I has happy to hang out every night, knowing it would end.  He has a huge dick and doesn;t really know how to open me up properly, which is a waste because it is rock hard all the time.  I guess it means Ive been a massive slut and am awesome at sex as a result, while Mr goody two shoes hasnt been and as a result wants to pair off, I could be bothered training him if was going to hang around, but i can't.  He should really get better at sex before he wants to partner up, its no good having your slut years once your in a relationship.
I mean we don't even have a strong friendship built, and our sex life is great as long as Im the top, 20 to 1, but complaining that I don't like your friends at under a month is a bit premature.  I don't like that he has tried to skip the dating bit and the building a friendship part and gone straight for commitment, it seems a bit needy some how.

He is homly and caring and cooks and we cuddle so well in bed.  We like the same things and one of the shows we have been watching is Miss Marpel, its been nice to have some type of grounded home life in Sydney, I never have the past 5 years, but at the same time a good cup of tea just isn't a good enough reason to stay with some one for.  I feel I am giving up all my other dreams and ambitions just to have a homely guy.  Its nice to watch Jane Marpel solve those murder mysteries from the comfort of my cosey couch, but there is still a big part of Patsy Stone in me who said to Eddie "Eddie just shoot me if I ever ask for a cup of tea"  There is more adventure in me then a comfortable home life, its enough for a lot of people..... just not me.

Good To Be Gay

I meet two high quality guys in one week, and have been flat out dating, unable to pick between the two.  Not really my style to date two guys at one time, but due to a lack of any quality canditades this year, I am not willing to let either one go untill I know them both better,  I think I have made have made my mind up, but either could annoy me very quickly.