Greedy Greedy Greedy

These are the words Stanford mutters to Carrie when he finds she has a new gay friend, “you have a boy friend, a husband and now a lover, greedy, greedy, greedy.” He tuts at her disapprovingly.  It seems to be assumed that most if not all gay marriages / relationships of the male variety have an element of openness to them, if not straight away, then with time.  I’m sure there are some total monogamous ones out there, but I don’t know any and either does anybodies else I know, and even when someone says they are in a monogamous relationship it’s either early days, or you wonder if they know what their partner is doing behind their back.
Even straight guys I know get married then cheat on their wives, isn't that just greedy getting up in public and saying "I will love you for ever to the exclusion of all others" Isn't that eating your cake and wanting it too?  They are greedy, they want the girl so they say I love you, then have sex with others behind their wives or girlfiends back.

Without a female in a relationship to quell the male sex drive what hope is there of two men being content with each other?

If in spiritual and sexual terms, men and masculinity is fire and women and femininity is water, as that is how I have seen it described in eastern religion sexual awareness books.  Then the whole point of two men together seems to be the heightened sexual power and intense sexual energy that two men have.  Even when you see two straight guys out, they usually work as a team as it heightens each other sexual prowess in a club.  They are actually getting high off each other sexual energy, not that they would admit that.  So two men lead to higher sex drives; not that conducive for long term nurturing.  

But this is only kind of an aside because what I really want to ask is; is the concept that you can get everything you need or want from one person an out dated concept that need no longer apply in today’s modern world?  And is hoping that your lover will also be the mother of your children (already not possible in the gay world) and your best friend and the person that cares for you as you grow old, too much to ask for, and will it lead to disappointment? 

I read in the paper over 5 years ago that futurists believe that we will have less and less children and that one life partner will be more uncommon, and instead we will have several for different stages of out lives of maybe about 10 years each.  I felt sad when I read this as it seems like the end of romance and love.  But I like to be a realist, so is it just our expectations that say there is only “the one” and not the “the few”?  And what would it take to make society go back to one life partner and lower divorce rates.  Was it only social and economic pressure that kept people together in the past?  Was social pressure a bad thing or do we need more of it?  I think it was a bad thing.

Should we have a different person for each of the different needs and desires in our life?

After my last post (Designer Vagina) which happened last Thursday I went out on Saturday afternoon in Newtown where I live, the first time in 2 years.  After a bar crawl through a few cocktail bars, we settled at The Bank.  It’s very gay there.  I thought it was straight but it was as gay as Stonewall, well no where is as gay as Stonewall, but at least as gay as The Columbian.   I got a phone number and have been texting someone who was there for his birthday, I think all his friends dumped him, which has happened to me on my birthday in the past, so it was therapeutic for me to see it happen to someone else, as this guy is lovely and it made me realize that the nicer you are, the more arseholes you attract as you are the only one who puts up with their shit.

Sunday was a cruise on an all gay cruise on the harbor and the weather was terrible, raining and grey, but the cruise was even worse, terrible music and ugly people for the most part, and the hot ones were unfriendly.  At least it saved me a few thousand dollars going on one of those big all gay cruises on the Mediterranean, I couldn’t think of anything worse now.

Followed by a house party full of Sydney’s A gays, it was ok, but a little precious and they were not my people, they all seemed very conscious of how they presented themselves and it made me feel like everyone was walking on eggshells.  I have started reading “Velvet Rage” which is a book by a psychologist about the things gays do that fuck up their life due to the world not validating who they are as people; to be accepted as gay you have to be special at something.  And this is what this party felt like, a room full of very good looking successful damaged people with low self esteem.  The books first thesis is that under all the layer of fabulousness nearly every gay man has a huge level of hidden self hate, instilled in him from a young age as he learnt how to hide who he was to survive.

Went to bed early Monday and as I lay there wishing I had someone to cuddle I had my blackberry next to me so I started texting and within two minutes I was texting 5 different guys at once seeing if anyone would come over.  I didn’t really notice I was doing it until I turned my phone off and then I thought “fuck 5 different guys at once, am I a legend or am I terrible?” Greedy, greedy, greedy.

Ps. on all things greedy I just remembers I hooked up with a beautiful black man with 12 inches where it counts on Tuesday, 12 inches for when 11 just won't do.  My singing voice has never been better.  I wounder why?