Monogamy, Mono-go-me!, Monoga-not-so-me

I have come to an inner peace for the moment that unless one is at the place where you want to build a life with one person for the rest of your days, then dating really is a waste of time.  I think this is why I find the gay world so convenient, it’s built for non attachment one nighters, and un-entanglement just the way I like it.  I find any date I have been on with women, they aren’t killing time dating, they have a goal at the end of a date, am I going to have children with person, and will I be financially provided for with this person.

Man dates are not so.  There is no biological clock counting down your youth, well there is but the 30’s power flip that happens to women sort of happens to gay men as well as in their stock starts to plummet after 30, which I didn’t realize until after I turned 30, no one warned me that I had already peaked until after it had happened, not a nice feeling at all really.  But with gay men we are all in the same boat, our stocks are falling at the same rate as our looks fade.  But women’s mass appeal on the meat market starts falling after 30, while straight men’s stocks are rising.  May be I should turn straight now that I am 30? And watch my stock rise again.  That would be nice.

It’s as a dear Eastern Suburbs blonde friend said to me, “Women are like a cheap bottles of passion pop left open in the sun, they go off real fast, but men are like port, they get better with age and mature around 40”.  Truer words have rarely been spoken.

I have admitted to myself that I don’t want to build the rest of my life with one person.  It’s too soon.  I wake each morning and think  “the worse think that could happen is I meet “the one” today, because before you know it you won’t get to know anyone else other than that one person for the rest of my life”  scary.

If there are women who are out there dating just to kill time, I would love to meet you, because I haven’t met any of you yet and I think it would be nice to know one of your kind just to know what you’re like.  I have read another blog written by a 50 year old women and she sound pretty cool and laid back, but I guess once the children window has passed, what’s the rush.

I would like the security of having someone to depend on in my life, and the grounding influence of a stable relationship, but it seems too high a price to pay yet, to give up exploration and the thrill of meeting new people.