Romance is Dead

   

Romance is dead, that’s how it feels to me, and as my favorite poet ms Minogue once elegantly put it, “I’m in a funk, I’m in a funk, I’m in a F.F.F.F.U.N.K”.  Default behavior of the bored lead me to the healing waters of Body Line, to feel better and it worked, but not in a way I would have thought.  I ran into the super hot Italian guy from October 2010 “What a difference a day makes” blog, Mr_Soul.  He was interested in me again which was nice, because I fucking love him, he is still in my top 20 hottest guys in Sydney, and probably the 2^nd hottest guy I have ever had sex with, and tonight he gave me his phone number, saying “I’m working on the Gold Coast for 2 weeks, see you when I get back.”  Flights are only $50 at the moment maybe he is lonely, should I ask? Maybe he needs a hotel playmate, someone to come home to after a hard day at the office?   I will resist as long as I can, but either way the thought of having 2 weeks to get myself as hot as I possibly can is making me happy.  This guy is a 10 and can have anyone; I can’t, so lying in the spa my mind went into self preservation mode.  “If I like him and he dumps me how much pain will he cause me? Verses if it goes well?  It’s not a good equation because, he can hurt me a lot by rejecting me, but even if it worked out I get bored, so it won’t really work anyway” this was running through my head.  He is the trifecta, lust worthy, nice guy and into me.  Is there a chance I might not get bored with him? Slim, but it still seems like it’s worth hanging onto the idea, because without that hope, what hope is there to hang onto?  Plan of attack is, use the new happiness he has given me to bump myself out of my rut, hit the gym hard, eat like an ant, and if our date or happiness doesn’t eventuate, then at least he got me out of my funk, and god bless him for that, good plan Bridget, I’ll start first thing in the morning.

So to summarize, my new plan is to have romance, not relationships, and not one timers, good plan Bridget.

Do get into a relationship / romance there is only 4 things that need to happen, only 4 and yet it is still so elusive.  Find someone lust worthy, a personality you can tolerate or even like, good sexual chemistry and they be into you.  It seems that I must not be lust worthy.  I find guys I think are hot, nice guys, good sex but at the end of the day, they just don’t like me.  I really must need to make myself hotter; that must be the missing equation.  Or fish in a smaller pond.  But I’m never happy doing that when I know there is a bigger pond out there, how does anyone settle?  I’m sure not happy at the thought of settling, I need that za za zu, I’m not living without it.