Bridget Jones throws out this line at Daniel Clever in Bridget Jones 2, The Edge of Reason. The lost boys are the children out of “Peter Pan” who don’t want to grow up and take on the responsibility of being men. She says to Daniel, “You’re just some fucked up lost boy, who doesn’t want to grow up and learn to love just one person.” This accusation is leveled at gay men frequently. When you look at the clubs you can see men in their 40’s still drinking and drugging, and dancing with their shirts off, and generally acting like 20 year olds do. To people who like the world to look a certain way, this behavior breaks the behavioral norm for men that age, and hence they tut tut at their non conformist attitude. I also think it looks a little sad, especially when I saw men in their 50’s and older still trawling the saunas, 50 and still can’t do a relationship? How sad I used to think. I will try not to be so ridged in my thinking. Without the pressure from women to love only one person, and no children, and freely available sex, are these older gay men just living how all men would choose to live if they could? If straight men could get sex as freely as gay men, had no children, and didn’t have to say “I love you” to a woman just to get sex, would they live like the gay community?
In my search for meaning in my own life I have come to the conclusion that living justly, having fun, living the good life in as many ways a possible and great sex is what I define my life by. And great romance and crushes. I think also think that there is probably not one meaning to life that fits all, and that everyone probably has their own.
Which brings me to that tricky question, will I end up just another fucked up lost boy? I haven’t been out for 2 months and I don’t a problem with drinking or drugs or love addiction, so I am not a prime candidate on the surface. But if I don’t define myself by wealth, a house or other security the chances are I am heading towards vagrancy.
After escaping “Camp Hate” today AKA my mother’s house, I was thinking about just how much time I need to myself just to be happy and calm. What chance does anyone have of getting close to me if I need to be myself so much? How will I ever replicate a normal relationship if I can’t spend long periods of time with someone?
The most serious men I can think of are those young men who go off to war to fight for their country. But then again so many wars are about serious men, AKA corrupt rulers wanting power and to control people for their pleasure. So if we all just chill out like me and stop being so serious would that be the real answer for world peace? Party and have sex like Cassius and there would not be anymore wars! Now there’s a bumper sticker.
In my 20’s my nights out would look like this; drink, dance, pickup, root, repeat. But with time it has changed into; drink, dance, pickup, root, feel lonely and empty repeat. If repeating the same behavior isn’t giving me the same highs as it used to then it’s time to think about a change, and now I’m back to where I started, how to I get close to someone when I can’t spend long periods of time with them without going crazy?
i think ur just growing up n need more. so am i. im 22 and already feeling the meaninglessness of what i had doe before. i dunno what i want and and stuck in the middle. i havent procreated in 2 weeks. eek!
ReplyDeletebut then again it could be the winter chills. who has sex in winter?
I was just browsing my favourite porn star couple on xtube: Richard and Kris. thy do lots of things that get me off.
ReplyDeletethey've done a heap of videos together. I just think they are the best thing on xtube.
However, today RIchard decides to have sex with another twink boy, and his explanation was that kris is busy with school work.
Im totally turned off by this because I have always thought that they were in love, or at least had a very strong bond. But for richard to go out to pick up some random just because he is horny just makes me so angry.
and to have kris being able to see richard and this random go at it on xtube for the world to see, just makesme wonder if kris has a heart. coz if he did, he would be heart broken knowing he isn't the only one in richards world.
perhaps im reading too much into this, but lately i have been feeling like just being with an honest man. i dont want to end up the victim or just another guy. i want to be made feeling special, and in the past i have come across a few guys who i know could have definately stuck by me for life but i chose not to go with them, but now my mind is alittle clearer, and my eyes alittle brighter.
That's probably a common worry about gay men. I feel like I'll never grow up. I'll be 50 and still going to the same bars! it is sad!
ReplyDeletethere is one way of avoiding that. move to adelaide :-)
ReplyDeletei am!