The Sound of Violence

Jamie you asked me to do 10 top songs for me of all time, can't think of the 10 songs that I have played the most but I will do one at a time as I think of some.  The number 1 song in my life is easy it's this one by Cassius


http://youtu.be/6Ml-jUdIbcI

This song became the sound track that I came out to.  I  was 22, it was 2002 and I was house sitting a house for a work collegue for 4 months while he travelled around South America.  It was a chef's house and he had a cool kitchen and an indoor swimming pool.  I was supposed to look after his dumb dog, which I grew to hate because it shat inside and barked when put outside.  I secretly wanted to kill it, and due to my subconsciense neglect I did, I left the side gate open and the dog ran out on the road and I found it run over and dead on the road.  I felt so guilt I drank so much trying to calm down for a few weeks afterwards, this guys was not married and had no children, I had basically killed his child, OMG WHAT HAD I DONE!  I was unemployed, coming out, first year out of Uni, hiding from my parents and hating them, I had given up a trip to Canada, which would have been my first overseas trip, for my first proper Career job and they had sacked me one week before I would have been leaving with my friends to tour Canada.  I was not a happy person and the anger and upsetness, probably triggered my courage to go out there and have my first sexual expirences out of sheer fustration.

I loved the energy of the song, it is very male, the film clip is great and I think it is about the search, that I had inside me to find some peace.  I had all this excitment, sex for the first time, as well as the fear and loneliness of what being gay was going to mean, I was drinking every night of the week and going to gay clubs every night they were open in Canberra, Oh Cube the memories.  I was racing between Sydney and Melbourne to go to the clubs and Saunas and beats and I had money from saving up for my trip, and free time from being unemployed.  And didn't have to pay rent, and it was the first time my life wasn't scedualed, ever, from power perants and a highly competative private school, I had gone straight to Uni and worked very hard in casual jobs as well as doing well at uni.  4 months off from life to think, and fuck and drink and do drugs, my bestie had a brilliant new Porsche and we would race from Canberra to Melbouren to do the clubs, sometimes in 5 hours, it's normally an 8 hour trip.

At the end of the 4 months I moved to Sydney for a job, and I arrived in Sydney on the 1st of November 2002 with glandular fever, right at the start of the Gay Games (Olympics).  Sydney was pumping with gay men like it has never done since.  I was sick and lost the job I moved to Sydney for, but I had to lie in the sun to help my liver beat the glandular fever, so I had an epicically good tan, but I caught Sea Lice from lieing on the sand at the nude beach for a month.... ops.  Then in Januaray 2003 the Canberra bushfires happened and my parents were badly affect and I moved home to help them rebuild their lives, hence ending my 9 months of living the crazy life.  La Vida Loca.

And in case you were wondering, yes this song is used in Social Network, the club scene with Justin T.